Today as we traveled north and then west through the flat plains which make up the heartland of America, I couldn’t help but to notice the monotony of the landscape for hundreds of miles. Paula’s “amber waves of grain” singing Tourette’s moments occasionally broke the spell cast by the latitudinal topography, beautiful yet hypnotic in its sameness.
For me, its not until the altimeter rises to 6000 feet, and the soft carpet of farm land neatly tucks itself under the powerful up rising of the great continental divide that you can really appreciate them both. It’s the contrast of opposites that seems to create the excitement in life. Learning to appreciate the experiences brought to life by the contrast, instead of judging, fearing and ultimately seeing things as separate instead of knowing they make up the balance of creation, is what a spiritual journey is all about.
As we truck on down the highway I can't help but to remember that the trailhead of my transformational journey didn’t look the way I thought it would. I had always believed in a Power greater than myself but had no interest in the traditional forms of religion introduced to me in my youth as a vehicle by which to celebrate or join with it. Huh, imagine that…me, not being able to conform. Anyway…
In my adult life, (and I use the word adult loosely), I imagined a spiritual journey would come in a vacation package with magical destinations where you could wear fabulous safari outfits and venture out to meet an enlightened master. This mystical Avatar would guide you gently down the path of enlightenment bliss, in the comfort and safety arranged by an experienced travel agent. With just the right music and mood lighting I would be lead to the Light where angels would greet me and I’d be embraced in the ecstasy of pure joy. The accommodations would have to be a bit rough to add to the authenticity of the experience but the food package could be first class.
Or, I thought I might have to embark on the trip all by myself, climbing to the top of a mountain or hiking into the depths of a secluded rain forest somewhere to locate a recluse medicine man with magical powers or a wise monk with supernatural wisdom who could turn my enlightenment switch on by asking the most profound question ever, sending me on a life long journey to experience the answer. And I suppose it could happen that way.
For me, it didn’t happen that way. No, in my case, 19 years ago, the All Knowing Magnificent Source of All That Is, demonstrated It’s amazing sense of humor and sent me a 27 year old hippy throw back, with an argumentative air of indifference and seven months of sobriety who handed me an AA book and said, “Read this. Every place it says Alcoholic, you put in ‘uptight asshole’.” Talk about opposites.
No, the trailhead of my awakening journey didn’t look the way I thought it would. As a matter of fact, I didn’t even know I was on a journey much less a life-changing awakening. An awakening that I neither thought I needed nor wanted since I didn’t think that I was asleep or late, which are the only two reasons I had awoken in the past.
As I continue this journey today, I reflect, allowing my heart to be filled with gratitude for the loving and sometimes painful lessons of my past that have guided me to this moment here and now. I’m flying…and from here the past takes on a loving perspective. Thank you for letting me share it with you in this continuing travel log.
Love and Light, Rosalie
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